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New research on speed dating has uncovered how to determine a woman’s interest. Strangely enough, those findings also provide insight into why certain sales tactics with prospects are likely to fail.
I want to share an experience I had recently with one of my coaching clients. This client, an advisor, asked me to help him prepare for a meeting with an important prospect. The prospect was a well-known businessman who had a reputation for being demanding and difficult. When he set up the meeting, the prospect made it clear my client was one of a number of advisors he would be interviewing.
My client was understandably nervous and wanted to do everything possible to "land this big fish." We prepared extensively for the initial meeting. We agreed that the indicator of success would be whether he was able to schedule a second appointment.
After the first meeting, my client told me it went extremely well. A second meeting was presently scheduled. My client said the purpose of the second meeting was to present a proposal indicating how he would invest the prospect’s money and provide information about his fees. I suggested another coaching session to prepare for this appointment. He declined, telling me that presenting a proposal was "in his wheelhouse."
Several weeks later, my client called and told me he didn't get the business. I asked him to take me through the second meeting, step by step. He told me he did precisely what the prospect asked him to do. He presented an "extensive" proposal in which he explained his investment philosophy, described the academic research supporting that philosophy and then laid out “in detail” how he would invest the prospect’s funds.
I asked him how long this presentation lasted. He told me it was "about an hour." I asked him whether he used presentation aids. He said he used PowerPoint, and he gave the prospect a copy of the PowerPoint slides.
I asked him about the prospect’s demeanor while he was giving his presentation. He said he "seemed to be paying close attention."
I felt bad for my client. After all, he did what most advisors would do at the second meeting.
But if my client had known about some recent data on speed dating, I believe it's likely he would have captured the business.
Data on speed dating
In their book, Honest Signals: How They Shape Our World, Tracy Heibeck and Alex Pentland discuss their research on speed dating. The speed-dating process is both simple and ingenious. Participants sit in chairs across a table from one another. They spend a few minutes chatting, and then move on to the next chair. At the end of the encounter, each person secretly indicates whether they want to exchange phone numbers. If (and only if) both parties consent, the organizers of the event will share their contact information.
In general, women consent to an exchange of phone numbers far less frequently than men. As a consequence, men often experience the sting of rejection.
How researchers changed the odds
The researchers began coaching men to look for certain "honest signals," subconsciously conveyed by the women they were speed dating, so they would consent to exchanging phone numbers only when it was likely a woman would also consent. After instruction, the men were able to determine with a high degree of accuracy whether the women they met would agree to exchange contact information.
The researchers told the men to pay attention to two factors: high activity and low consistency.
"High activity" refers to behavior by the other person, such as animated facial expressions, head nodding and gesturing. The more active the other person appeared, the more likely she was to be genuinely interested.
"Low consistency" refers to a person’s variability in tone. A monotone would likely indicate a lack of interest. High variability in tone might indicate keen interest and openness to being influenced by others.
Of these two factors, a woman's activity level was the most accurate predictor of whether or not she was going to share her phone number.
Lessons for advisors
How does this relate to my client’s failure to secure business of his prospect? Think about how difficult it would be for a prospect to show high activity (or any response other than passive acceptance) while sitting through an hour-long lecture on the basic principles of finance. What if, instead of a “data dump,” my client converted the lecture into a conversation?
For example, rather than a protracted discussion about how to measure risk using standard deviation, he might have asked the prospect for his views and concerns about risk and responded with a few sentences indicating how he would meet those concerns.
Once you change your goal from "educating" your prospect to having a conversation with him or her, you will find ample opportunities to do so in a relaxed manner. By engaging your prospects, and listening carefully to their answers, you can create a meaningful dialogue. This process will permit you to assess your prospects’ level of activity and tone of voice, both of which will tell you if they are genuinely interested in what you are saying.
Isn't that the real purpose of your meeting?
Dan Solin is the director of investor advocacy for the BAM Alliance and a wealth advisor with Buckingham. He is a New York Times best-selling author of the Smartest series of books. His latest book is The Smartest Sales Book You'll Ever Read. He limits his sales coaching practice to advisory firms that advocate evidence-based investing.
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