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In last week’s article, I shared some insights on building trust from The Trust Mandate, by Herman Brodie and Klaus Harnack. The book is a valuable resource. Its principles are applicable to you and your relationships with prospects and clients. Especially powerful are some small changes you can make to your office and the way you present yourself that will quickly inspire trust.
The oxytocin effect
Readers of my book and those who have learned the Solin Process℠ appreciate the role of the hormone oxytocin in building trust.
I was gratified to see my analysis validated by Brodie and Harnack. They note that oxytocin, which is manufactured in the brain and secreted by the pituitary gland, acts to reduce a (very human) wariness of proximity with unknown others. It enhances sociality, cooperation and the sense of affiliation…
Clearly, if you want to facilitate a relationship of trust, triggering an increase in oxytocin in the other person is a powerful beginning.
Maximizing the oxytocin effect
Brodie and Harnack summarize research showing how to trigger the release of oxytocin in others. Here’s a selected list of ways to do that:
Serve hot drinks: It causes others to perceive you as friendlier and more caring.
Lavender: It’s a scent that contributes to interpersonal trust.
Your office: Distinctive workplaces, decoration, quantity of magazines and diversity of books, translated into a perception of “openness.” Orderliness, cleanliness and absence of clutter were perceived as “conscientiousness.”
Name similarity: If your name is similar to your prospect’s, or if the service you offer contains the same letters as your prospect’s name, your odds of a positive impression increase.
Gestural mimicry: The more you mimic the gestures and other mannerisms of your prospect, the more persuasive you will be perceived to be.
Food similarity: Here’s a neat trick. When dining with a prospect or client, order the same food. It increases liking, which increases trust and cooperation.
The missing link
In my research, I uncovered a foolproof way, based on solid research, to build a trusting relationship. I discussed the research in this article.
Brodie and Harnack found that talking about yourself activated the same regions in the brain responsible for our most pleasurable activities, like food, sex, money, gambling and addictive drugs.
Researchers theorize that talking about yourself may stimulate the release of dopamine, a chemical that controls the brain’s reward and pleasure systems. While the neuroscience behind talking about yourself is uncertain, there’s no doubt that empowering others to do so increases levels of likability and trust.
According to an article in Scientific American, talking about yourself “feels good.” It triggers areas of the brain generally associated with reward. Doing do increases interpersonal liking and aid[s] in the formation of new social bonds.” One study found a direct link between how much we like a person and how much we disclose to that person.
Once you understand that people will like you more if you empower them to disclose as much as possible about themselves, you’ll be well on your way to building a trusting relationship.
Dan Solin is a New York Times best-selling author of the Smartest series of books. His latest book is The Smartest Sales Book You'll Ever Read. His sales coaching practice includes helping advisors convert prospects into clients and generating leads through videos and other elements of marketing. Dan is not affiliated with any advisory firm.
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Advisor Perspectives welcomes guest contributions. The views presented here do not necessarily represent those of Advisor Perspectives.
