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Few of us realize the anxiety-ridden mindset that drives prospects to seek a financial advisor. If they did, they would structure their initial meetings very differently.
Consider my experience when I recently addressed a group of car salespeople at a high-end dealership. I asked them this question: “What’s the mindset of car buyers when they enter the showroom?”
They all agreed it was a combination of anxiety, dread and fear.
I then asked this question: “Are you ever in a situation where you feel the same way?” The answers ranged from going to the dentist to, oddly, buying a car.
My next question was: “When you are highly anxious and fearful, what do you find most comforting?”
Everyone agreed it was someone who acknowledged their feelings and understood what they were experiencing.
Finally, I asked them to raise their hand if they tried to behave that way when dealing with new car buyers. Only a couple of hands went up.
An empathy crisis
We are experiencing an empathy crisis. Here are a few examples:
- A former broker in Milwaukee was sentenced to 30 months in prison for conning six elderly investors out of almost $380,000. Read this quote: "Speaking for one of the victims, a relative described the debilitating emotional and mental distress suffered by her loved one who had long known and trusted Kubiak to grow her small nest egg."
What kind of a person could engage in this conduct? Someone wholly lacking in empathy.
- We are all familiar with Operation Varsity Blues, which targeted parents who engaged in bribes and other misconduct in a misguided effort to facilitate the admission of their children into elite schools. Some of the parents attempted to mitigate their conduct by indicating they were trying to do what was best for their children. You have to wonder whether they ever considered the plight of the students who were denied admission because their place was taken by those engaged in this illegal scheme.
- A “conservative pundit” had this to say about 16-year old Swedish climate activist, Greta Thunberg: “None of that matters because the climate hysteria movement is not about science. If it were about science it would be led by scientists rather than by politicians and a mentally ill Swedish child who is being exploited by her parents and by the international left.”
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Ms. Thunberg has been diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome. Fox News later apologized for this comment.
Did the “pundit” consider the feelings of Ms. Thunberg and her family before hurling this invective at a child on national TV?
The lesson for advisors
Ask yourself the same question I asked the car salespeople: “How do prospects and clients feel when they enter your office?” Do they share your enthusiasm for investing and financial planning? I doubt it. I suspect many of them are terrified, embarrassed they aren’t in better financial shape, and have an inherent distrust of you.
How can you empathize with those feelings?
Discussing your agenda with them won’t do the trick. Instead, what if you said something like this: “Thanks for coming in. Some of my prospects have told me coming here is a very anxiety-producing experience. I don’t want you to feel that way. How can I make this as pleasant as possible for you?”
It’s a good first step towards demonstrating real empathy.
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Advisor Perspectives welcomes guest contributions. The views presented here do not necessarily represent those of Advisor Perspectives