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I spent 20 years working in equity trading, and nothing develops razor-sharp communication skills like an environment with high stakes and zero margin for error.
When I shifted into wealth management, it was immediately clear that advisors who mastered this skill set were the most successful, and yet it was rarely, if ever, being addressed in advisor training.
It’s a major gap, and it shows up everywhere, from client meetings to lost business.
The industry changed; training needs to catch up
Years ago, the industry was more specialized, driven by individual products. Now, it’s about comprehensive financial planning. To truly meet the needs of today’s clients, you need at least a working knowledge of tax, estate, and investment integration.
There is no doubt that technical skills, continuing education, and mentoring have developed over the years. But the missing piece is often the real differentiator — the reason a client signs or walks. Clients seek technical chops, of course — one would hope that’s table stakes. They also seek connection, and they want to feel heard.
A lack of communication
As technical training ramped up, so did the use of jargon. With this, many advisors started missing what really mattered to clients. At the end of the day, most people worry about similar things — how to pay for care, when to take Social Security, and how not to run out of money.
Advisors often do solve these problems, but how they explain the solution can lose the client completely.
The term “soft skills training” is finally getting more attention, and that’s overdue. But I prefer to reframe it as communication training. Specifically, that means the ability to listen and to speak in a way that ties directly to the client’s actual concerns.
How to listen, how to speak
If you don’t listen, you will miss opportunities. Poor listeners miss nuances and cues that help them connect with potential clients and build long-term relationships.
If you only explain in a way you grasp, you will miss opportunities. The onus is not on the client to decode financial language — it’s on the advisor to humanize it.
Here are a few things to keep in mind in your next client meeting:
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Frame the agenda up front. Let the client know you’ll guide the conversation to use their time wisely. It builds trust, and it keeps you from getting lost in small talk.
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Listen, in particular, for anything tied to worry, fear, or concern. That becomes your framework — not just for this meeting, but for each one after. When it’s time to recommend a strategy, tie it back to what they told you matters.
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Don’t fake it. People mistake being a great listener for acting like one — not interrupting, nodding your head — but if your internal dialogue is racing with what you want to say next, you’re not actually listening.
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Clarity takes discipline. Trust isn’t built just by knowing your stuff. Rather, it’s built by translating it to someone who doesn’t live in this particular world every day.
It's not just about personality
It is very common for leaders to assume that because an advisor has an engaging personality that they will be successful. I’ve seen communication gaps show up across all types.
I was working with two advisors who had completely different personalities and skill sets but one common problem: They were about to complete their first year as leads, and their conversion rate was unexpectedly low.
One was highly technical but emotionally flat; the other quite personable but easily thrown off course. However, both of them routinely missed key client cues because they were so focused on their own process, message, and agenda.
They were struggling, and leadership was stumped. But after 10 minutes of listening to their client meetings, the problem was obvious. With targeted skills training and follow-up, they improved quickly.
Training should always be ongoing
I find that many firms — wirehouses and smaller RIAs alike — treat the promotion from junior to lead as the finish line for training. But that’s actually where development should begin.
We like to assume communication is common sense. Maybe. Maybe not. But don’t write off a struggling advisor until you’ve ruled out whether they were ever actually taught how to listen.
I’ve been asked if this skill can be taught. In most cases, yes. Not everyone is meant to be a lead, but far too many are written off before they’re ever given the chance to develop the skills that matter.
Melissa Caro, CFP®, CIPA®, CRFS®, CFEI® is the founder of My Retirement Network.
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Advisor Perspectives welcomes guest contributions. The views presented here do not necessarily represent those of Advisor Perspectives.
