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Beverly Flaxington is a practice management consultant. She answers questions from advisors facing human resource issues. To submit yours, email us here.
Dear Readers,
Every year in November, in honor of my birthday, I like to do a reflective column thinking about what I’ve learned over the past year. Every birthday is a “personal upcoming new year” where we essentially start over. New age, new experiences. Life can get so busy, and even if the busy aspect is engaging and fulfilling, time still goes by very quickly.
I always tell my students there are 86,400 seconds we are given every single day. Some days we don’t think enough about what we want to do with those seconds. Taking a moment to step back and think about what new things we’ve learned can be a way of honoring those seconds over the prior year and thinking about what’s coming next.
My learnings from the last year’s journey to this birthday include reflections and insights on some things advisors can keep in mind while working with their clients:
1. Between my last birthday and this one, my mom was fighting a very rare form of cancer. She went through a series of treatments and was recently declared cancer-free. This experience taught me a few things: Nothing, absolutely nothing, matters as much as health. Being able to get up in the morning and — for most of us who are in good health — do whatever we want to do is something to celebrate every day.
For advisors working with clients, making sure they have the money necessary to pay bills when a health crisis arrives is a key area of focus. That said, advisors could also help their clients to celebrate being healthy and specifically find ways to devote some of their financial savings to things they can enjoy while they are healthy enough to do so. Health is not a given, so find ways to celebrate and honor it every day.
2. My extended family had a significant crisis this year and a beautiful wedding — just a few weeks apart. These experiences so close together taught me that having strong relationships with family, as long as those family members are willing participants, is a blessing. Having people around to mourn with, to celebrate with, and to share life experiences with means so much.
However, money can be a separator of family, especially when there is a lot of it. Advisors can add value by engaging with the second and third generations as well as by asking about extended family relationships. Advisors who have the skill of running family meetings may offer their clients a chance to share values and insights in a safe place. If you don’t know everything about your clients’ families, commit this year to learn.
3. Over the last year, so many things have changed in our communities regarding people in need. While I’ve been doing rescue work consistently for 30+ years now, along with working with children in need, this year taught me how important it is never to take for granted the ability to buy whatever I want at the supermarket, go on trips with my family, pay for the surgery my pet needs and generally say “yes” to anything I want to do. There are far too many people who have nothing and have to make choices each day between necessary expenses. Life has become, for many, so much more difficult in recent months.
While not everyone has a generous heart, and many people don’t believe in giving to others, advisors can help those clients like me who want to live a nice life but not without giving back along the way in a significant manner. Helping with creative ways to do this is important and can make the giving experience even more fulfilling for clients when they know they are doing it in the smartest way possible.
4. My youngest graduated from college and started her full-time working career during this past year. I’ve always told my kids making connections matters, and that networking and spending time with people you enjoy is important to prioritize. When my daughter was looking to intern somewhere, I was able to ask a valued colleague for some guidance. Although my daughter earned everything on her own, having someone to guide her through the process was critical. My daughter did so well in her internship that she was offered a full-time job with that company.
Advisors can help clients by asking about their children and their children’s intentions for school and work. They can brainstorm ideas with their clients about how to help their children with where to go, what to focus on, how to construct a resume, and how to network. Some people don’t grow up having guidance like this and they struggle to find the right way to navigate. Having these conversations with clients on behalf of their kids could be a game changer.
5. This past year I was blessed to again teach my four graduate classes along with running my business. My life commitment is to teaching and sharing insights to help people have the “ah-hah” experiences and apply knowledge to the real world to effect change that is important to them. My work is truly my passion and I consider all of what I do every day a higher calling than just making a living.
Not everyone is so lucky, and the learning for advisors is that they should help clients use a portion of their money to pursue a passion. Finding that spark for what drives and motivates someone is also a gift. Having conversations about passion, not just values and goals, could lead to unusual and engaging conversations and help deepen relationships with clients. The seconds tick by, the days are short, but the years roll by really fast. Helping someone uncover what really matters to them and how they can spend both time and money focused on what they care about and what brings them joy could be a passion for the advisor!
My life experiences over the past year have shaped me in many ways and are influencing my thoughts and focus going into this next year. While these five areas may not be drivers for you, I encourage you as your year unfolds between one birthday and the next to capture what you’ve learned, why it is meaningful, and how you can apply those learnings to where you will go next.
Beverly Flaxington co-founded The Collaborative, a consulting firm devoted to business building for the financial services industry, in 1995. The firm also founded and manages the Advisors Sales Academy. The firm has won the Wealthbriefing WealthTech award for Best Training Solution for 2022, 2023, 2024 and 2025. Beverly is currently an adjunct professor at Suffolk University teaching undergraduate and graduate students Entrepreneurship and Leading Teams. She is a Certified Professional Behavioral Analyst (CPBA) and Certified Professional Values Analyst (CPVA).
She has spent over 25 years in the investment industry and has been featured in Selling Power Magazine and quoted in hundreds of media outlets, including The Wall Street Journal, MSNBC.com, Investment News and Solutions Magazine for the FPA. She speaks frequently at investment industry conferences and is a speaker for the CFA Institute.
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