Gen X Leads Boomerang Parenting Trend, But at What Cost?

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It started with a question I posed on my Life Money Balance Podcast: “Are Gen X parents ruining retirement by supporting their adult children?”

The episode drew more than 12,000 views and hundreds of comments from parents saying, “I can relate,” and “Here’s my story.” A follow-up video, “Shocking Truths from Real-Life Boomers,” in which older parents shared lessons they learned from financially supporting their grown children, struck the same nerve.

The response was clear: Boomerang parenting is real, widespread, and taking a serious toll on Gen Xers who already feel behind in their retirement planning.

The Cost of Boomerang Parenting

Boomerang parenting happens when adult children return home or continue relying on their parents for financial support. For Gen X, now in their 40s and 50s, the financial strain is undeniable.

Parents who support their adult kids spend $1,384 a month on average.
53% of Gen X parents believe their kids will need help well into adulthood.
Meanwhile, retirement balances lag far behind. The median Gen X retirement account balance is only $40,000 to $50,000. Even “super savers” at Fidelity, those with 15 consecutive years of contributions, average $589,400. That is still well below the $2.3 million Schwab says participants believe is needed for a comfortable retirement.

Money going out to kids means less going into catch-up contributions, brokerage accounts, and long-term wealth building.

Why Gen X Feels Stuck

Gen X is the “sandwich generation,” caught between supporting adult children and caring for aging parents. Many are in their best earning years, yet burnout runs high.

Part of this generosity stems from empathy. Young adults face higher costs in housing, healthcare, and childcare, plus heavy student loan debt. It is true that adulting is more expensive now than when Gen X was coming of age.

But Gen X has run out of time. Retirement is no longer 30 years away. It is 10 to 20. Without a course correction, many risk sacrificing their own futures in the name of helping their children.

Step 1: A Financial Therapy Check-In

Before crunching numbers, start with reflection from a financial therapy perspective. Ask yourself one hard question:

“Am I content with the time, love, emotional, and financial investments I have placed into my children’s lives?”

If the answer is yes, give yourself grace. From there, you can move toward a “Me-First Mindset.” This is not selfish — it is survival. Protecting your retirement is protecting your children from becoming your caretakers later.

Have a candid discussion with yourself or with your spouse. Getting emotionally aligned before looking at the numbers helps you approach the next steps without guilt or resentment.

Step 2: Audit Your Finances

Track support. How much goes to adult children each month?
Review retirement readiness. Compare lifestyle and retirement goals to actual contributions, brokerage accounts, and debt payoff.
Identify gaps. What needs more funding for your peace of mind and future security?
Fill your gaps first. Only then decide what, if anything, you can offer your children.

Step 3: Set Boundaries

After reviewing your finances, set clear expectations. Decide:

What type of help will you provide?
For how long?
What is off the table, like subsidizing lifestyle upgrades or enabling debt habits?

Then, sit down with your adult child(ren). Share that you love them, you have invested in them, and you want them to succeed. But explain that you must also fund your retirement. Frame it as care, not rejection.

A Different Kind of Generational Wealth

Yes, adulthood costs more today, and empathy matters. But so does emotional intelligence and financial wellness. The greatest gift Gen X can give the next generation is resilience. By modeling boundaries, you prepare your kids to stand strong and preserve your ability to retire without becoming dependent on them later.

The boomerang effect does not have to break you. With reflection, boundaries, and reallocation, Gen X can support their children while still securing their own future.

If you want to hear the stories behind the numbers, tune into the Life Money Balance Podcast. The best support you can give your adult children is not another monthly transfer, but the peace of mind that you will be okay.

Dr. Preston D. Cherry, CFP®, Ph.D., is a financial planner, researcher, and founder of Concurrent Wealth Management, based in Houston. He specializes in serving Gen X professionals, business owners, and high-income earners through flat-fee fiduciary planning and values-based financial therapy. Dr. Cherry is also the host of the The Financial Harmony podcast and author of Wealth in the Key of Life. His work focuses on helping Gen Xers align wealth with well-being, overcome money guilt, and retire with confidence.

References

Fidelity. (2023). Are you a super saver? Fidelity Investments. https://www.fidelity.com/viewpoints/personal-finance/are-you-a-super-saver

Federal Reserve. (2023). Economic well-being of U.S. households in 2022. Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve System. https://www.federalreserve.gov/publications/2023-economic-well-being-of-us-households-in-2022.htm

Savings.com. (2024). Parents financially supporting adult children. Savings.com. https://www.savings.com/insights/parents-financially-supporting-adult-children

Schwab Retirement Plan Services. (2024). Modern retirement survey. Charles Schwab. https://www.aboutschwab.com/press-releases/schwab-retirement-plan-services-2024-modern-retirement-survey

U.S. Bank. (2023). Americans provide financial support to family members survey. U.S. Bank. https://stories.usbank.com/stories/2023/03/americans-provide-financial-support-to-family-members.html

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