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Beverly Flaxington is a practice management consultant. She answers questions from advisors facing human resource issues. To submit yours, email us here.
Dear Bev,
Some of our clients think they know more about the markets than we do. We are under constant bombardment to explain our positions in certain asset classes and justify changes to our portfolio strategy, all while facing pressure on reducing fees. We are not an asset management provider; we are a full-servicing planning advisory firm. We focus on planning first and then construct portfolios to help our clients meet their goals. These are clients who are angry about the markets and economic conditions, and are also very scared about the future. We all understand their perspective, but it’s a lot to have clients come and lash out at members of our team at any time. What additional education or information are advisors providing right now to help clients remain calm during these times of uncertainty?
C.E.
Dear C.E.,
Dealing with difficult clients is a topic I discuss often with advisors. When a client is being “difficult”, there are a few key psychological factors to understand. I’ve outlined a process below that may help you navigate these high-stress interactions.
Understanding the “Mask” of Fear
When someone is angry, confused, or aggressive, there is usually one underlying emotion driving that negative behavior: fear. Fear is a powerful motivator because people rarely admit to it; instead, they hide it behind a mask of negative behavior.
When a client is fearful and operating from a place of emotion, it isn’t helpful to then provide objective data to show them the error of their ways. Presenting evidence to someone in an emotional state can actually create even more havoc for the client. Instead, try imagining your client with a big stamp of “FEAR” across their forehead. Rather than pushing back on them and seeing them as a problem to be solved, see them as a fearful person and respond with empathy.
Curiosity Over Defense
If you accept that fear is the driver, your best approach is to become inquisitive. It’s impossible to be defensive when you are asking good open-ended questions.
You can’t say, “What are you afraid of?” That may make them more defensive. Instead, try: “When you consider all that is happening, what are the top two things you need more information about?” Or: “We’ve created a plan for you that is meant to cover all market conditions. What has changed in your life that is causing you to be concerned we haven’t made the right decisions?”
For this to work, you must remain open. Don’t take the position that you are the authority who knows more; instead, seek to understand.
Change Your “Dance”
Recognize the difficult dance that can occur when a client approaches you in anger. You might get defensive — after all, you don’t control the markets and you are a professional operating in their best interest. However, if you provide evidence to prove them wrong while they are emotional, the cycle of frustration and defensiveness continues.
No one gets anywhere until one party decides to take a different dance step! When you feel yourself becoming defensive, consciously choose to drop it and lean into curiosity.
The ARTICA Process
I created this step-by-step process many years ago to help advisors disengage from unproductive habits and build better rapport with difficult clients.
A – Acknowledge that the person has a right to their opinion and viewpoint. We spend so much time trying to prove people wrong, which only makes them more certain they are right! Instead, remember everyone is right when it comes to their perspective and feelings. You don’t have to agree in order to acknowledge.
R – Reflect and connect. There are concerns in the market — in fact, there are almost always things happening that could shift the market considerably one way or the other. Global implications and economic shifts can make even the most confident investor feel ill at ease. It’s okay to validate them by saying, “Others are experiencing some of the same concerns you are experiencing.” Validation brings you closer to the client; disagreement pushes them away.
T – Think why? This is where you can use your curiosity and open-ended questions. While you can’t call a client “fearful” to their face, you can seek to understand why they are reacting this way. Use open-ended questions, stay patient, and listen longer than you think you need to.
I – Inquire if there is anything that could make the client feel more confident. Before you provide an answer (to anyone, in any situation, by the way), ensure they are actually open and willing to hear it. If they aren’t ready, they will see you as being disagreeable and not understanding.
C – Confirm that you can act and that they are ready to engage. Repeat what you believe they need, explain what you can do, and set a specific time and method for following up.
A – Act! Only after moving through the previous steps should you take action. As a problem-solver and someone who has the “right” information, we often want to jump directly to the “Act” phase. This keeps you in that “difficult dance.” If you can be patient and work through the steps, you will find your client joins you in seeking a solution rather than fighting you.
I hope this helps for your client situations. It’s important to remember that addressing an emotion with logic and data often creates more problems than solves them. If you have been doing this, try a different approach!
Beverly Flaxington co-founded The Collaborative, a consulting firm devoted to business building for the financial services industry, in 1995. The firm also founded and manages the Advisors Sales Academy. The firm has won the Wealthbriefing WealthTech award for Best Training Solution for 2022, 2023, 2024 and 2025. Beverly is currently an adjunct professor at Suffolk University teaching undergraduate and graduate students Entrepreneurship and Leading Teams. She is a Certified Professional Behavioral Analyst (CPBA) and Certified Professional Values Analyst (CPVA).
She has spent over 25 years in the investment industry and has been featured in Selling Power Magazine and quoted in hundreds of media outlets, including The Wall Street Journal, MSNBC.com, Investment News and Solutions Magazine for the FPA. She speaks frequently at investment industry conferences and is a speaker for the CFA Institute.
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Advisor Perspectives welcomes guest contributions. The views presented here do not necessarily represent those of Advisor Perspectives.
