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Beverly Flaxington is a practice management consultant. She answers questions from advisors facing human resource issues. To submit yours, email us here.
Dear Bev,
We have a great team of 15 people who previously worked collaboratively and supportively together. We enjoyed each other, and many of us got together outside of work. The problem is with our two partners who own the firm. They don’t really like each other, and they make it clear. We’ve all lived with this for many years now. We know the situation and ignore them as much as possible, because the remaining 15 of us got along great.
Recently one of my team members, “Sue,” was in a meeting with both leaders. She was there to take some notes because it is a complicated situation. The client has been unhappy as we’ve dropped a couple of things that were supposed to be done. The client is a “yeller” and will call us and scream about how inept we are. We know their story, so we all support each other and almost laugh about it once we hang up. There is no use getting irked by people who are rude.
The meeting was held to hash through what’s happened and find a path forward with this client. Both partners attended because the client is one of our larger ones. Sue was quietly taking notes when one of the partners started accusing the other partner of being a “backstabber” and a “thief” and a couple of other words. I can’t write here them here, but you don’t encounter them in normal conversation. The client started also yelling at the advisor in question saying “This is why your team doesn’t know their behind from their elbow!”
The whole thing has created such a division within our team of 15. People have taken sides, some saying the advisor in question has been the problem all along and some saying the other advisor had no business throwing his partner under the bus. It is so unpleasant here now. Team members avoid each other and don’t want to work together. The kicker is that this client, the one they were trying to save, has used an automated account transfer to move their account to one of our competitors.
I’m thinking about leaving the firm, but I thought I’d first reach out to ask if there is anything I can do to help heal the wounds around here. I’ve been here 12 years and otherwise really loved my job.
Anonymous
Dear Team Member,
I’ve spent my entire career in the financial services industry and have often thought I could write a book about the human element in our business. Then I think it’s probably similar across every single business and industry out there. Where you have people, depending on who they are and how they operate, you can often have drama galore!
I’d like to say your situation is unique, but I’ve heard of others similar to this. Fighting in front of a client and calling your partner names is certainly a new one, but not entirely inconceivable when tensions are running high and there is money at stake.
I’m all about trying to build bridges and fix things, and I am also a realist. I won’t give someone suggestions on next steps if I believe they aren’t going to work. I often tell clients there is a right way, and then there is what you can get done within your environment. I’ll always lean toward the second one.
This all leads me to the direct answer of your question. These are the partners, owners of your firm. The rest of you, all 15 team members, work for these two people. You have three choices, in my view:
- Build back bridges amongst the 15 of you. Help your team members see the partners have created exactly the same divide between all of you, that you have watched and acknowledged together for these many years. If you can help everyone “step outside” their emotional responses and see how the division is hurting you all — professionally and personally — maybe the walls will come down a bit. This is an important first step.
- If you are able to get back to being collaborative, and you have team gumption working for you, perhaps the staff together could call a meeting with the partners and lay out for them how their behavior has been impacting you. I totally get the risk associated with this. They are in charge, and they can fire all of you if they so choose. You would need to be careful how you present this, and focus on the positives. You could, for example, make it clear how much more effective the entire firm would be if you were all working together effectively and supportively.
- If you have other career options available to you, get out now. I rarely give direct advice like this for someone to leave a job, but your situation warrants it. Especially if you can’t get your team members to see how this rift is impacting all of you and the business, I would call your firm a toxic workplace and psychologically unsafe right now. You don’t want to live in this for too long. Employees can have severe PTSD if they put up with toxicity for too long and then eventually decide to leave.
Dear Bev,
We have the most amazing team, and we continue to grow and expand. What are some unique ways we can recognize team members and give them the accolades they deserve, in addition to significant bonuses?
P.K.
Dear P.K.,
I receive so many questions on a weekly basis and I often try and keep similar questions together in a column, but this week I chose yours to balance out my first one. Hopefully, it will give us the chance to end on a positive note.
Thank you for thinking about how to recognize your team. In addition to being frustrated with under-payment on some teams and in some firms, I often hear about lack of recognition as one of the most frustrating aspects for team members. They see themselves as part of the overall prospecting and client experience — and they are!
Some great ways to recognize team members:
- Keep a log of the client name, the team member(s) and what exactly they did for the client and announce these at periodic meetings, or via email. Make this as specific as possible. Instead of saying, “Bev did a great job with the Jones’ account,” describe what happened. “The Joneses were faced with some difficult decisions when buying their new home, and Mr. Jones has been sick. Bev spent time holding Mrs. Jones’ hand and helping them lay out the pros and cons of their decisions.” The more specific and detailed, the more the team member sees that you understood what their contribution really looked like.
- Buy pizza, bagels or lunch for team members as a thank you. When I teach my grad classes in leadership, I like to show research that says one of the things employees care most about is free food! If you bring it into your office (assuming everyone works there together), it also gives team members a break and brings about camaraderie. Do this when big things happen, but also acknowledge the smaller wins too.
- Highlight wins in your meetings. Allow team members to bring a story, no matter how small, to share what they are proud of. Follow up — again, assuming you are in-person — by stopping by their desk afterward to commend them on their success.
- Plan a party! If you don’t have times team members get together for summer outings, or holidays or to celebrate quarterly wins, start planning this now. Research also shows the most successful and effective teams in reaching their goals consider team members to be their “friends.” It doesn’t mean hanging out with everyone on weekends, but it does mean having a friendly attitude toward one another. Social activities can often be the best way to bring this about.
Kudos to you for wanting to celebrate and acknowledge your team and find ways to show them how important they are. The more a team member feels valued and recognized, the more incentivized they are to continue to do well and strive to do even better.
Beverly Flaxington co-founded The Collaborative, a consulting firm devoted to business building for the financial services industry, in 1995. The firm also founded and manages the Advisors Sales Academy. The firm has won the Wealthbriefing WealthTech award for Best Training Solution for 2022, 2023, 2024, 2025 and 2026. Beverly is currently an adjunct professor at Suffolk University teaching Executive MBA students Leadership and Managing Teams. She is a Certified Professional Behavioral Analyst (CPBA) and Certified Professional Values Analyst (CPVA).
She has spent over 25 years in the investment industry and has been featured in Selling Power Magazine and quoted in hundreds of media outlets, including The Wall Street Journal, MSNBC.com, Investment News and Solutions Magazine for the FPA. She speaks frequently at investment industry conferences and is a speaker for the CFA Institute.
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Advisor Perspectives welcomes guest contributions. The views presented here do not necessarily represent those of Advisor Perspectives.
